Time Experience Thoughts

Christmas 1967. Becky is all elbows and sharp angles. I have hair. (We were 13 years old. I was about to turn 14.) Duarte High dance, 1969. (We were 15 years old.) Christmas Eve, 1971. (We were 17 years old.) December 1973, just before my mission. (We were 19 years old.) December 1975, just after my mission. (We were 21 years old.)

“Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19) Carrie, Scott and Family http://www.forevermotts.blogspot.com/  (Roseville, CA) Carrie is a busy, stay-at-home mom and blogger. With her blog, she both creates an ongoing family history, and also keeps grandma and grandpa up-to-date. She serves as 2nd counselor in the Young Women organization. Scott, her hubby, works as a financial planner/stock broker at Merrill Lynch. He serves as the ward Elders Quorum President. This past summer he also had successful thyroid cancer surgery, with the related radioactive iodine treatment. “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33.) Scott is of good cheer. Carrie and the boys are very glad to have him with them for a long time to come. Sean (2) and Ryan (4) will be welcoming a new baby brother into the family, due to join them in early April 2008! Carrie and the boys visited us this summer; Scott then joine...

Thanksgiving 2007

In this funny video clip , Mark Gungor from 'Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage' compares men's brains to lots of boxes that don't touch and women's brains to a big ball of wire where everything is connected to everything else .

Grandma Becky bought several costumes for Ryan and Sean to play in, a fireman, a policeman, a knight, etc. Ryan ended up staying dressed as the fireman most all the first day or so that they were here in Virginia. (In this pic, he was actually watching TV . . . in his fireman outfit.) Ryan said several times over the past week or so that when he grows up his "job" will be Superman. Evidently, he wants to go to Superman school. This is kinda neat, seeing as how when I was but a young boy I read my fair share of Superman comic books (though I was not a big fan of reading lots of other comics). And, of course, I watched a fair amount of the TV Superman. I dreamed of Superman many, many times. Scores of times I dreamed -- at night -- of flying. Maybe a hundred times altogether. Also, as a kid, I dreamed -- literal daydreams -- of being a hero; of being in tough situations; of being -- through no fault of my own -- on the edge of annihilation, but miraculously coming out on top at...

On the fly, we came up with this motorcycle game. Ryan and Sean act as my motorcycle -- their arms are the handlebars; their wrist is the throttle, etc. (BTW, both are solid as a rock; they are in shape. If you look close you can see the muscles work in Sean's back, shoulders, and arms, etc. And Ryan is that much more solid. You can tell they are physically active. A real good thing.) First, we "pop a wheelie." The first time Sean (2) was the motorcycle, I yelled out that we were turning to the left. After turning left, without missing a beat, Sean then said, "Turn right!" After we turn left, then right, we slam on the brakes to just barely avoid "crashing." (Boys like to crash and smash -- or come close to it.) They (and I) could do this all night. But, who will run out of gas first? So much love. NOTE: Ryan, Sean, and our friend Giovanni Freret (Maggie's really cute son) can be heard on this clip. Sean is the one calling out, Right, Left, and Sto...

“Forty years since our first kiss it’s been . . .” I. First (Summer and Fall of 1967, then many months later…) My arm around your shoulder . . . fresh and cool and new. Quick and sweet - though, it took an eternity to get to you. II. Best (Spring of 1970, then a few weeks later…) My arm around your shoulder - again . . . whole and serene and calm. Long and pure - this dreamlike kiss lingers on. Time and our hearts stand still. Walking away; down the street, Floating. Just off the ground, I walk along. Can’t hear. Can barely breathe; don’t care. Hearts swelled; hearts warm. Numb with feeling; lips still tingling. Touch my finger to my lips; checking this is real (and remembering). It is; it is no dream. Can never forget; it's never far from my sweetest thoughts. Even today. Even now. III. Sweetest (Senior Year, 1971-1972) The day, the night, the moment I purpose to tell you With all my heart I love you, With my whole trembling soul, My voice breaks My voice ...

We Meet, 1967 Looking across the shrinking room; coming closer towards that face. Surely this is a part of me , forgotten about; but a part that is so natural and pleasant. Easily we talk and continue to look -- without looking away. Happy Together, 1967-1968 Growing so accustomed to that face; Not just the eyes, but the whole face -- the whole person behind that face. Everyday imagination leaps immediately to that image -- to that face. Nightly dreaming of that face eases me into slumber. Holding Hands, 1967 Now I know I have lost something. What? It was here; I just had it. Where did it go? I want it back. Ah. That's it. The touch that further connects. A Chance Meeting, 1970 After so long, I am amazed At how lovely, glowing, and even eternal is that face. Can't stop stealing peeks at that face. Can't stop gazing at that face. I can't stop dreaming of that face. We Meet Again, 1971 Another time. Almost can't look at that face. Try not to be too obvious. I wa...

Closely, his heart next to your heart , He holds you; yes, now when you are young, But even later as you grow older. He knows you; who you are, Who you were before this earth-time, and who you are becoming. Face to face you talk and talk over many things, over everything – As friends, as best friends. Even though trials and troubles are all about, You see through it all, eye to eye , and appreciate The beauties of this wide wondrous world. Side by side you work together in your garage, and in the yard; In your neighborhood, and in the Kingdom. Even more than the beauties of this earth, You comprehend together, pure mind with pure mind , the simplicities and complexities of the Eternities – The great principles that reveal truth, And what is of real worth. Soul to soul -- together with your dear Mother and loved ones – You reach to the heights and glories Of the highest and best that is deep within. Your father and you . . . you are one. Scott L. Vanatter, 4 July 2003 (Poem for Ryan ...

Funny video of a dad singing about putting his kids to bed (to the tune of Pachelbel's Canon in D major).

Together alone, as I watched him there asleep, I gazed deep into that angel face. Every angle, every curve, every shape… Every peek into his soul … did I trace. That first day that held him; I held him close for a while. And back and forth his eyes followed mine it seemed. I wondered. My mind wandered. It drifted upward , And then I dreamed. What will he become? Who will he be? I wonder what he sees. And then I remembered how long he’d been – Eternities, upon eternities . His father that raises and cares for and loves him -- And helps him now to grow, Has already seen and accomplished, spiritually, More than most will ever know. The glory they trail together , having come from such lofty heights -- And having lived with those Great Souls -- Will spread throughout their every shared path, And bless all those with whom they sow. What this choice son will see, and what he will become, Will largely mirror the reflection he beholds In the lens of his father’s life and eyes ; Even in ...

Heroes and Villains Drama/Love and Humor

I was walking down the street tonight And stopped a man who appeared to be Wandering in the maze of City life And who knew no way to change the existence He'd been in for so many years. I felt of the loneliness of this friend of mine And desired to free him from his world of chains. His chains were wrapped around him as tight as Steel fetters but were only the things He'd never wanted to be or do when he Made plans for his dream. So here he was after a long day working To have left the pub early to get home To his empty room. With no wife or Children to lend a hand and no happiness To enjoy or any idea that it was what he was looking for. He did say he believed in God but didn't Know why or what He was. I stood so close to him on that cold City street and could barely hear his groanings For a better way or help. Cars and lights And people and noise were making our Meeting so personal and private Because all we knew was that he was there And I was talking to him; seeing the ...

Shimmering stars Give way to the faint glow of a pale blue light The glowing yellow sun Bathes a crisp morning air Midday Burns bright white A warm afternoon Of orange and red The fading blue sky Turns a dark purple And late In the comforting cool of the night The light of our love ever warms us Scott Vanatter, 14 February 2007 (Poem on Valentine's Day)

This entry is related to one on Carrie's blog where she posted a couple of cute pics of herself as a young gal. I said I would put up a couple of even cuter ones. So, here they are; plus one of Sydney for good measure. (Carrie and Sydney from the 80s.) We have, of course, many more such cute pictures. Carrie spent some time during her vacation this summer to Virginia with The Boys organizing our pictures from the various places of storage. Thanks Carrie. Now Becky and I can get to more of the pictures to sift and sort for the nuggests. (Picture of Carrie in the late 70s.)

I. Sometimes, When I least expect it , I happen to catch a brief glimpse of, say, The side of your face, As you are talking in a crowd. Just then, In an instant , My heart leaps, then burns with a cool freshness -- A crisp blast of a winter breeze That burns in and through and out of my chest. II. I simply want To sit there and stare -- Slack-jawed and wide-eyed -- And enjoy the sensation, the revelation, the vision; To drink it all in, And taste it fully to my soul’s satisfaction. I want To freeze this moment in time And gaze and wonder and enjoy -- Though I quickly avert my eyes So as to not make a scene by staring at you. III. But, just as quickly, I glance over at you again And again without letting anyone -- not even you -- notice; Stealing a few more peeks ; Warm reminders Of the many insights and experiences and ideas we've shared For all the decades we’ve been together. IV. How many times I have marveled at how, for so long, I've known Who you really are, and who ...

Lately, Becky has been letting her hair grow out just a little longer. She us also wearing some longer earrings than has been her habit over the past 40 years. I think she may be borrowing some from Sydney. (Becky driving, August 2007) And it goes without saying that I really liked her hair way back in the early 70s. (Becky with gold dress, Christmas 1971) Regarding her hair length, I like it whatever length/style it happens to be. I particularly liked the shorter length it was for our Duarte High School 30-year reunion for the Class of '72. (Summer, 2002)

(Father-Mother-Son; Man-Woman-Boy; Husband-Wife-Child) The spark lay buried; Dormant—smoldering—comforting, deep within; Waiting to jump into flame. Long hidden from view, Never really known; though almost shown By inklings, and flashes and glimpses. Anxious, now, To make it to the air, finally did it pierce through; at just the perfect, select moment; No more to be concealed. Impatient waiting, and now seeing, The flame grows into an enduring, Eternal light; Capable of sparking others. The burning, now, Creates life on its own; now sees the full light of day. This “burning” Sets on fire the souls that now perceive; and comes together as One; Over altars, and glances, and (kind) words, and gentle (forgiving) hearts. Wiggling and vibrating Long, and strong, and sure; echoing again and again new found freedom. The Child Comes in an instant to Father and Mother, Who seek to erase any pain, and gain the desire to impart… all. Everything. Every good thing. Child grows old; Child grows wise;...

We were driving from Logan, UT where Sydney just graduated from Utah State University to Roseville, CA where Scott, Carrie, Ryan, and Sean live. Along the way we paused at a rest stop in the midst of the Great Salt Lake's Bonneville salt flats. As soon as we got out of the van, Ryan darted for the salt flats and began running . . . and running, and running. He was leading the way (without looking back to see if we were all following him). I followed him WAY out into the salt flats. He may have run a good half mile of a mile. It looked like he was heading for those mountains in the distance. I caught up and we finally turned around. He knew this wasn't snow, or concrete, but salt (he took us at our word). So when I suggested we lick it, he was all for it. It was kinda 'inviting' . . . licking-wise, that is -- AND in its natural wonder. (May 2006)

Sean wiggle-walking. (Was titled, "Wiggle When You Walk; Giggle When You Talk . . . ") He went on like this for a long time. I thought he might stop; but he kept going. I finally got out my cell phone to take this movie. He went on and on and on -- what a "journey." Kids laugh. Kids skip. Kids smile. Kids love. And ALL so naturally . . . and so full of life! (4 August 2007)

Poems written while on my mission in the mid-70s. ~ ~ ~ Glad From a song, from a friend For the Melody and Harmony Of your soul they fill The wide expanses of within . Scott L. Vanatter, 11 March 1975 ~ ~ ~ Inside Looking Out Too many times I (Deeply) wonder, And often I decide, Pondering and considering The day of this Life. Hidden revelations begin to sink in; Things I had but didn't comprehend. Often come they with softness Of the spirit most sublime. The spirit of man -- to develop; The Holy Spirit -- to confirm. With the knowledge And the Path stretched forever in eternity... You slip. With the Majesty of a Testimony you Ponder, Pray, and Plan. Thanks be to God repentance is real And the Key to the Inner Man . Scott L. Vanatter, 12 March 1975 ~ ~ ~ Revelation You sit and you've been wondering; Thinking of that thing ahead. All creation seems to sit beside you . Crowded. Feelings of uselessness tempt you. And it's all relative. Coming too subtly faith whispers To go ...

Sydney and Carrie, our beautiful daughters, on the return of Sydney from her mission. (2002)

Guess which sister? (2007)

During their visit to Virginia this summer. (2007)

Thank heavens, my parents misled me. Come to find out, faces, in fact, do not "stick that way"! (2007) For another picture of Ryan pulling a "face" see also his mother's blog here . The boys constantly remind me (via their funny faces, or just their youthful-boyhood love-of-life escapades) of the immortal Calvin and Hobbes. Wow.

At the DHS 30-year reunion with my beautiful wife. (2002)