When I least expect it,
I happen to catch a brief glimpse of, say,
The side of your face,
As you are talking in a crowd.
In an instant,
My heart leaps, then burns with a cool freshness --
A crisp blast of a winter breeze
That burns in and through and out of my chest.
I simply want
To sit there and stare --
Slack-jawed and wide-eyed --
And enjoy the sensation, the revelation, the vision;
To drink it all in,
And taste it fully to my soul’s satisfaction.
To freeze this moment in time
And gaze and wonder and enjoy --
Though I quickly avert my eyes
So as to not make a scene by staring at you.
But, just as quickly,
I glance over at you again
And again without letting anyone -- not even you -- notice;
Stealing a few more peeks;
Of the many insights and experiences and ideas we've shared
For all the decades we’ve been together.
How many times
I have marveled at how, for so long, I've known
Who you really are, and who you are becoming.
(And I realize how fortunate I am.)
And I have re-discovered
Yet again your heart and mind --
Over and over, again and again;
New insights upon new insights,
Reawakening upon reawakening.
(And I am startled, yet again, at your Eternal Identity.)
Your inner beauty,
Your inner strength,
Your inner determination,
Your inner faith,
The “aliveness” and gleam
Bursting out of your sparkling eyes
And gentle heart and whole being --
All you are . . .
So deep inside you do perfectly match
Your beautiful, lovely face,
Your excellent caring work,
Your wise voice and counsel --
All you do.
Too often do I talk or dominate our conversation;
Too often am I oblivious to this wonderful view of you;
Too seldom do I pause and ponder your personality --
Your life full of meaning,
And our future full of hope.
Lately I have gazed at you
When you least suspected it,
To enjoy the sparkle in your eye, and the sight of such total beauty.
I am amazed at who I see.
I will never tire of seeing you.
Scott Vanatter, 14 July 2003 (Poem for Becky’s 49th birthday)